i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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