I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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