do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
