I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my shit smells like andre
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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