Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
