I CAN MOONWALK!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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