I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.