hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize