This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dignity is for republicans.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
