you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
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