theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
