Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And then my night got REAL pukey
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
