my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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