I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
