Dual....:-)
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
