Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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