we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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