i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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