Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
