For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
