I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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