Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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