your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
