he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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