we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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