enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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