Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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