i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Boobs speak an international language.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
