just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
