therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
