my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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