I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
