Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize