we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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