Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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