I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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