scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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