Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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