Plan B is the new Plan A
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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