Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They took my balls.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
