My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.