You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize