i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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