You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
