last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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