I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
