just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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