It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
