I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I looked at my own cervix.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
