I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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