Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
