Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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