YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize