Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize