There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
