Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have post one night stand depression
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