Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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