who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize